tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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