Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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