well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
