thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
