Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need water and some morals
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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