Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
