I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
whose ass print is on the piano?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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