we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize