now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
