Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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