And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
