I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
