i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
