this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
