the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Randomize
