I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
