He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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