you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
