I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
