i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
