plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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