Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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