ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
not ubering you a puppy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
