I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
