Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
