is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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