maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
