I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
