i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
