So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
stop calling my apartment porn island.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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