I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
