go do what you do best...puke behind churches
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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