I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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