woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm like, not good at living.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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