this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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