he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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