"it" just moved
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
