Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
