he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
