Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
