she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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