Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
