so let's talk penis.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
