Walk of Shame. In a state park.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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