i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
