he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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