My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
