you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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