I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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