have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
