my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
