smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
