someone owes me an orgasm
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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