Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
