i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
