Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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