I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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