Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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