Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
