Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
