I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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